


glutton for punishment

by notorious



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:54:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notorious/pseuds/notorious
Summary: a slice of doubt and indecision.
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 5
Kudos: 78





	glutton for punishment

**Author's Note:**

> lil something to keep the creative juices flowing while i’m working on some bigger things. mostly unedited. xo.
> 
> times are tough so if you like what i do, consider buying me a [”coffee”](https://ko-fi.com/danceswithghosts) right here !!

_ YOUR MISSION — _

_ ADHERE TO IT. _

_ DO NOT FALTER. _

_ DO NOT STRAY. _

_ STAY THE COURSE. _

The blue balloon does not threaten Scylla this time around, but the implication is clear.  _ DO AS WE TELL YOU _ , she thinks bitterly, or  _ WE WILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT _ .

And she longs to explain, even to plead, to make them understand that she cannot  _ not _ prioritize her love for Raelle because she isn’t isn’t sure she knows what the greater good is any longer. Not now that they won’t tell her what they’re going to do with Raelle. Not now that she loves her. Not now that going back on that love would cut Scylla as deep as going back on her mission would cut the Spree.

None of it is fair.

If only they could tell her what they need Raelle so badly for. If they could make her understand, for a change, if they could tell her what all of this was for, perhaps it would be easier.

Probably not, Scylla doesn’t think, because she reckons she’d still want to take Raelle and run, but it might be simpler for her to rationalize her rebellion if she knew exactly what she was rebelling against.

_ NO MORE QUESTIONS _ .

“Scyl?”

“Mm?”

“Where’d you go just now?”

“Ah” — can’t tell her that, not a chance, so — “nowhere,” she says instead. “Just got a little lost. Rough day in my head.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” Scylla decides quickly, but gently, and with a tender smile as they sink into the grass beneath a willow tree. “Tell me about your day instead.”

It’s harder to listen than it is to not, but Scylla’s trained for that, to listen with one ear and lose the other to the hum. She hears Raelle loud and clear, right alongside the churning waters that fill up the parts of her mind that have no direction or destination.

A flooding mess, that’s what it feels like in her head.

An archipelago of mishaps with not a single bridge between them to string together and find a way out. All Scylla knows is that she’s on her own this time; no one is coming for her. Not a guardian angel, not God, and certainly not the Spree. Somehow she is both landlocked and lost at sea and the future is bleak.

All she can do is sit there, sit there and listen, tucked away beneath a willow tree with a girl for whom she thinks she’d throw away everything. Wind whispers through the leaves and tells her to breathe. Perhaps she could pray, but a witch such as herself knows not who she’d pray to if it came to that.

“...and Tal’s been kicking my ass in training this week,” Raelle’s telling her. “I’d be salty about it if I weren’t so proud of her.”

“I hear you’ve been doing just as well.”

“You’re biased.”

“Maybe.”

Surely.

Scylla reaches for Raelle’s face but doesn’t make it more than halfway. Her hand’s caught by another, clasped by an equal, fingers nestling home between fingers, palms meeting, and when Raelle kisses her knuckles and mutters, “You’re lucky I love you,” she has to disagree.

Unrequited love would make her lucky. If Raelle felt nothing for her she would have handed her to the Spree days ago. If this, whatever they were other than irresponsible on her part, was a one way street there would be no room for doubt or indecision or traitorous thought. Her mission would be completed, the matter closed, and she would be extracted from Fort Salem within hours.

If only Raelle did not love her, too.

If only.

Nothing in Scylla Ramshorn’s life will ever be so simple.

**Author's Note:**

> catch me on twitter @tallycravens if u would like


End file.
